


Hysteria

by x_sastiel_are_my_fathers_x



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caring Gabriel (Supernatural), Crying Sam Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Episode: s13e21 Beat the Devil, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Lucifer (Supernatural) is a Little Shit, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Torture, Protective Gabriel (Supernatural), past possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 07:51:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19246945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_sastiel_are_my_fathers_x/pseuds/x_sastiel_are_my_fathers_x
Summary: Sam goes into hysteria in 13x21 when he finds out Lucifer is the only option they have. Gabriel comes to comfort him.





	Hysteria

**Author's Note:**

> Underlined words means prayers
> 
> Bolded words are notes
> 
> xxxxx is to separate the scenes
> 
> Italicized means a persons thoughts

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**(Sam's POV)**

 

“Okay.” Dean mutters.

“Well that was… fast.” Castiel’s head is still tilted to the side slightly.

“Very, very fast.” He adds.

“One could even say premature.” Rowena says with a subtle glare.

“Um… I thought it would be enough.” Gabriel utters guiltily.

“Alright great. What do we do now?” The young hunter asks in contained irritation.

“Hell, if I know.” Dean muses.

“You do know.”

Everyone looks up at the seraph.

“We all do. We need archangel grace. Gabriel’s obviously running a little low, and we don’t know how long it will take him to recover.” Castiel explains firmly. “So that leaves exactly one source on Earth.”

“No.” He denies starting to grow frightened.

“I don’t like it either, but there is no other way.” The fallen angel explains.

Everyone is silent for a moment before it is broken with a light chuckle coming from the right. Gabriel looks over to see him with a small grin forming on his face, and a slight maniacal glint in his eyes.

“Sam?” He asks gently, confused on what’s going on with the young hunter.

The hunter lets out a few more chuckles, as he leans his body against the wall. As he slides down the stone he starts giggling uncontrollably, his face turning red from the force of it.

“Sam. Sammy.” Dean says worriedly “Come on, don’t do this.”

Except he couldn’t stop himself as he feels tears starting to run down his cheeks. He’s barely able to catch his breath. He’s in full on hysteria, terrified of the exact thing they need to get back Jack and his mom.

The archangel slowly walks up and crouches down in front of him. “Come on kiddo.” He pleads “Snap out of it.”

He’s sobbing now, but small giggles still escape his mouth every few seconds. Gabe raises a hand to the hunters’ cheek.  He can’t help the small cry choked out from the back of his throat.

“Shh, Sam. Kiddo. It’s okay. He won’t hurt you.” Gabriel reassures him, pulling him against his chest, wrapping his arms firmly around the hunter. His face becoming hidden in the crook of neck. “I won’t let him.”

As he says this something in him finally breaks. He feels like screaming. He needs to. So, he does. For letting his Dad die. For letting his Mom die. Letting Jess. Bobby. Kevin. Charlie. Crowley. Ellen. Jo. Adam. Henry. Pamela. Ash. Eileen. Mick. Madison. Sarah. Castiel. Gabriel. Dean.

The guilt he’s carried since he could remember.

His brother sacrificing his soul for him to live.

For the pain he went through during and after his souls was taken to the pit.

For trusting a demon and letting out one of the greatest evils.

For the thousands of years of torture he went through in the cage to right his mistakes.

For losing his soul.

For his sanity that was slowly lost after the wall came down.

For his brother and best friend being trapped in purgatory while he lived a normal life.

For almost dying during the trials, but ending up failing them anyway.

For being possessed multiple times already then again by Gadreel.

For the life he could have had, but was taken away over and over.

For not being there to stop his brother from getting the mark.

For letting Metatron kill Dean, then Crowley bring him back as a demon.

For his brother almost killing him when he wasn’t himself.

For having to go back and be trapped with his worst nightmare until Dean and Cas saved him.

For almost losing Dean once again to Amara.

For being tortured physically and mentally by Toni Bevell from the British Men of Letters.

For being completely alone with his own mind and thoughts in a prison for 3 months.

Trusting the British Men of Letters then learning they betrayed him with Magda and Eileen.

For Lucifer coming back into his life and losing his Mom and watching Castiel die again.

For getting hope when Castiel came back then losing it completely when Jack got trapped in Apocalypse world.

And now.

Now here he was, after all this, he needs the one person who terrifies him. The person who he sees in his dreams every night. The one who tortured him for five thousand years.

Lucifer.

He can’t do it again.

He can’t.

He screams until his voice is hoarse and his throat is raw.

But then he just stops, and tilts his head up toward the trickster. His face blank, completely void of emotion, the hunter’s eyes looking anywhere but the whiskey golden ones staring straight at him.

After a few moments he finally looks up, expecting to see revulsion, disgust…hatred. But as he searches all he can find is worry and understanding, and… is that a hint of protectiveness?

As he gazes he finally realizes the full extent of what he just did. His eyes widen in horror and embarrassment. ‘I just did that’. He thinks to himself. ‘Infront of all of them I just completely broke down.’

He opens his mouth trying to think of a way to explain but all that comes out is a shaky. “I’m sorry” He can’t help it. It just comes out like an unstoppable flood. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Sorry.”

Before he even realizes what he’s doing he pushes himself up and swiftly walks towards and up the stairs to the front door of the bunker. He thinks he hears someone call his name but it’s drowned out by the sound of the door slamming shut.

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**Author's Note:**

> Im not completely sure if I'm going to add another chapter or not. Thanks for reading. :)


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